On completion of this tutorial, you will be able to:

• Discuss the differences between aggressive, non-assertive and assertive behaviour
• List the highlights of assertive behaviour

Assertive/Responsive Model



Assertion refers to behaviour that involves:

• Standing up for your own rights in such a way that you do not violate another person's rights
• Expressing your needs, wants, opinions, feelings and beliefs in direct, honest and appropriate ways

So, assertiveness is based on beliefs that in any situation:

• You have needs to be met
• The other people have needs to be met
• You have rights, so do others
• You have something to contribute, so do others

The aim of assertion is to satisfy the needs and wants of both parties in the situation (known as 'Win/Win').

Non-assertion refers to behaviour which involves the following:

• Failing to stand up for your rights or doing so in such a way that others can easily disregard them
• Expressing your needs, wants, opinions, feelings and beliefs in apologetic, diffident or self-effacing ways
• Failing to express honestly your needs, wants, opinions, feelings and beliefs

Non-assertion is based upon the beliefs that in any situation:

• The other person's needs and wants are more important than your own
• The other person has rights but you do not
• You have little or nothing to contribute; the other person has a great deal to contribute

The aim of non-assertion is to avoid conflict and to please others.

Aggression refers to behaviour that consists of the following:

• Standing up for your own rights, but doing so in such a way that you violate the rights of other people
• Ignoring or dismissing the needs, wants, opinions, feelings or beliefs of others
• Expressing your own needs, wants and opinions (which may be honest or dishonest) in inappropriate ways

Aggressive behaviour is based on the belief that:

• Your own needs, wants and opinions are more important than other people's
• You have rights but other people do not
• You have something to contribute; others have little or nothing to contribute

The aim of aggression is to win, if necessary, at the expense of others.

Example of the three different behaviours

Situation:
Taking an unsatisfactory letter back to the person who produced it

Assertion:
'John, I'd like you to re-do this letter as there are several mistakes in it.'

Non-assertion:
You find an excuse not to take the letter back, or you say: 'I know it's um .... any chance at all you could find a spare minute to um just change one or two small things on this letter for me.'

Aggression:
'I don't know how you've got the nerve to give me this sort of stuff for signing. It's full of mistakes.’

Verbal Aspects of Behaviour



Non-verbal Aspects of Assertion, Aggression and Non Assertion

Non-verbal behaviour refers to all the observable aspects of behaviour that accompany speech, apart from the words themselves. These are:

Voice:
The tone: sarcastic or sincere; warm or cold; rich and expressive or dull and flat. The volume: shouting; barely audible; or medium volume

Speech pattern:
Slow, hesitant, fast, jerky, abrupt or steady even pace

Facial expression:
Brow: wrinkled or smooth
Eyebrows: wrinkled or smooth
Jaw: set firm or relaxed

Eye contact:
Whether the speaker looks at other people or the surroundings and for how long

Body movement:
Movement with individual parts of the body (for example, head, hands)
Movement and position of the whole body

Non-verbal Aspects of Assertion, Non Assertion and Aggression