Negotiation is the mutual act of co-ordinating areas of interest.

What is Negotiation?

• Finding a way for all parties to gain something they value from the resolution of a position of conflict

You negotiate when you want to resolve something and both parties have something to gain from the interaction and exchange. You influence when you have more to gain than the other party.

• Finding a way that enables both parties to work together in the future

Dictating, that is telling someone to do something, only works for a short time or when there is an extreme emergency. If you want a long term relationship you need to negotiate.

• Generally used in circumstances where each party has a similar power level

If you have the power then you do not negotiate, you dictate!

What is Influencing?

• Where one party has power over another party

A child can influence its parents to buy it an ice cream but it has little power to negotiate. When a child throws a tantrum it is "negotiating" with its emotions!

• Where one party may have nothing to gain from the agreed action

Buying an ice-cream for a child has little impact on the parent, the person who gains the most pleasure is the child. In fact the parent "loses" the money of the ice-cream. If one party loses and the other gains it is not negotiating that you are practising, but influencing.

• Sometime where only one party makes the final decision

However much they scream, a child does not make the final decision, the parent does. In negotiating both parties make a decision, and stick to it.

What is Bargaining?

• Where there is give and take from both sides

Bargaining is a form of barter, a knocking down of the price from unrealistic high level and up from an unrealistic low level. Everyone knows in bargaining that the first offers are 'ridiculous' but they are ritual stakes in the ground.

• Where neither party may appear to gain from the exchange

You sometimes bargain to spread the misery - for instance sharing the chore of washing up or ironing.

• Normally done on specifics such as price

Bargaining is about the detail, the specifics, not about the big picture.

• Is a sub-set of negotiation

Once the basic principles have been agreed we bargain on the details, the nitty-gritty. If the original negotiation is shaky the deal can fall apart at the detailed bargaining stage.

What Makes a Good Negotiator?

Behavioural Criteria

High observation skills
Able to listen, observe and record activities of others; dealing with a number of individuals at once. Able to pick up the nuances in the room and to note body language.

Planning and organising
The ability to set out in detail what they expect from the negotiations and to know their own limits.

Able to move blockages
Able to choose the appropriate tool or statement to move on from a block rather than "Throw in the towel". Able to notice when arguments are going round in circles and to identify barriers and to work systematically through these barriers.

Develop rapport and empathy
Able to quickly establish and maintain rapport. Able to see the others' points of view and appreciate others' feelings whilst holding onto their own view and desired outcome.

Flexible attitude
Able to accept others viewpoints and arguments without giving in on all points. Ability to see the broader picture.

Creativity
Able to think round or through a problem and to try something different to help solve the issue.